Thursday, April 13

Rant

When will it be a 'me' time? When will I ever feel like my days are filled with things I love doing? When will that time ever comes? I find it so hard to stand straight for a 24 hours a day. I find it hard everyday. I am not being grateful I know. I think I can make a change of my own but my feet and hands are cuffed so I cant move any further. I am trapped in this side of world. I wish I can see the world.

I hate silence. I hate to be in a dark where it is so quiet that I can listen to my own heartbeat. The heartbeat that always in a fast pace, and hard; knowing that I wont be safe from myself in this dark and silence.

I feel suffocated, with thoughts - of what ifs and what ifs.

syg.. i know sometimes it is so stressful to think about getting married (or even pasal bertunang pun).. so i hope you will take it easy and slow.. take your time, and i will take mine.. i wont force you or anything.. i love you so much syg.. sy taknak awk stress stress pasal bertunang or kahwin tau.. be it sooner or later, i will always be by your side no matter what.. and i believe you will always love me too. kan?

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